Exam is coming, 2 weeks more. so damn stress, hav'ta score high GPA no matter what....and hav'ta pass so i can enter Year 2 with no sweat... accounting I damn scare of it because i failed this subject before at other University, but thanks that this time the accounting is assignment based i think i would help me alot in getting pointer 3.0 or above.
Another thing is my dog is getting weaker and weaker, left kidney already malfunction... now keep on vomit, doctor said that Dennis don't have red blood cell left in this body. the doctor inject anti vomit and give pain killer.what i can see is his body still trembling, heart so damn pain..very sad..he is too old to do any operation...now want can do is wait...i don't want the day to come...haixz...
Why the thing we love most hav'ta leave us, yet we just able to stand there and do nothing.. i know is unavoidable...just...haixz... Dennis i love you... sorry...
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Friday, 23 November 2012
im such a carefree person
this few days, seriously many things happened. Friends and family matter. since small, what i wish is to have a peaceful family. where there are no argument. but from my sister, i was told that after my dad failed in this business ever since, this house had never been peace. i was born in the family where i keep on hearing my mom and dad will argue. seriously until now i don't understand what is the point of arguing, every time they issue that they argue seriously can be solve just by sitting down and talk it through. but i don't know why they just like a cat and dog, when ever there is a point where they can't agree with each other, they will start shout and the war will start. they just don't understand when ever they argue it just make me and my sister sad and many times.we feel like moving out from this house.
i really don't know why my stupid father, he just can reasoning with us..whenever it does he will said all i said you all won't hear and don't even bother. but the fact is what we said i correct, he just can't admit that he is wrong. Almost 60, can't he have a little bit of logical thinking? talking with him really stress, we just want to have a peaceful family, a family that can let jyun sheng grow up to become a great boy. sometimes i just hope he wasn't here anymore, this mind is just so corrupted, everything he think sure is negative and not even once he will think things that happen on the good side before he open his fucking mouth.
on my cousin sides,things do happen. my cousin his wife was a thai, by appearance she is a good girl, seriously i don't feel that she is such a person. after my uncle pass away that family never peace like what it was before. she like wanting to take control over the family and my aunt have been bullied by her ever since..my biao jie n biao ge work at spore so many things they can't handle, until now they finally stand out le, my biao ge and her wife now hide at thailand due to can't repay back the sharkloan, and they house in alor setar they going to sell it off.they don't want to recognized him anymore. why so many things happen? my biao ge last time so good to my aunt but why all change, my mom told is is curse, which the thai most good at. In this two years, many bad thing happen, even that is their family issue not mine, yet they once are so close to me, somehow will effect me. I just simply hope that everything will turn out to be good, but is it possible? haixz
My mood ain't really good since last week, where my parent start arguing until now. Seriously, i dislike twilight but still my buddy asked me.i promise him to go.i also feel like want to go out relax a bit, my mood at that time already calm down a lot.suddenly they start argue again. It just make my mood gone wild again, i told my friends i regret to promise to go for twilight, and her gf see it.she misunderstand it as i didn't feel like want to explain, as i feel that it will only make things worst. explaining it would just make me feel like i'm trying to cover up for what i just said. i saying it is because on that moment, what i want to go is a place where i can sit down and calm myself down. yet im being scold not being gentlemen and don't care what other people feels, maybe he's right but no one know deep down what is in my mind. haixz..
sometimes i feel that is there a person where i can speak to,without worries. i would want to talk with him,cl. but every time when i feel like talk with him, he just answer me with o.o okok...dont know what to say mah. when time long..it is normal that i won't find you to talk, yet im the one being accuse not to find him to chat. what i think at that time is what the hack is this?? but as my nature, i won't be explaining as it seems pointless to me.
just now when i told my coursemate about my stuff, she said i really good in hiding my emotional. she can't find out i'm sad or what, only when i told her, she only know that im in a seriously bad mood. to her she says that in class everyday see me laugh,smile and joke. doesn't seems like a guy with problem..but after telling her, she just notice im a typical EMO guy. maybe this happy face is the result of my training to cover up the sadness within me.
after writing out all this, feel much better.but i know what the moment i woke up from my dream, the reality is there..it won't goes off that easily. what i can do now is pray and hope for the best it can be..
i really don't know why my stupid father, he just can reasoning with us..whenever it does he will said all i said you all won't hear and don't even bother. but the fact is what we said i correct, he just can't admit that he is wrong. Almost 60, can't he have a little bit of logical thinking? talking with him really stress, we just want to have a peaceful family, a family that can let jyun sheng grow up to become a great boy. sometimes i just hope he wasn't here anymore, this mind is just so corrupted, everything he think sure is negative and not even once he will think things that happen on the good side before he open his fucking mouth.
on my cousin sides,things do happen. my cousin his wife was a thai, by appearance she is a good girl, seriously i don't feel that she is such a person. after my uncle pass away that family never peace like what it was before. she like wanting to take control over the family and my aunt have been bullied by her ever since..my biao jie n biao ge work at spore so many things they can't handle, until now they finally stand out le, my biao ge and her wife now hide at thailand due to can't repay back the sharkloan, and they house in alor setar they going to sell it off.they don't want to recognized him anymore. why so many things happen? my biao ge last time so good to my aunt but why all change, my mom told is is curse, which the thai most good at. In this two years, many bad thing happen, even that is their family issue not mine, yet they once are so close to me, somehow will effect me. I just simply hope that everything will turn out to be good, but is it possible? haixz
My mood ain't really good since last week, where my parent start arguing until now. Seriously, i dislike twilight but still my buddy asked me.i promise him to go.i also feel like want to go out relax a bit, my mood at that time already calm down a lot.suddenly they start argue again. It just make my mood gone wild again, i told my friends i regret to promise to go for twilight, and her gf see it.she misunderstand it as i didn't feel like want to explain, as i feel that it will only make things worst. explaining it would just make me feel like i'm trying to cover up for what i just said. i saying it is because on that moment, what i want to go is a place where i can sit down and calm myself down. yet im being scold not being gentlemen and don't care what other people feels, maybe he's right but no one know deep down what is in my mind. haixz..
sometimes i feel that is there a person where i can speak to,without worries. i would want to talk with him,cl. but every time when i feel like talk with him, he just answer me with o.o okok...dont know what to say mah. when time long..it is normal that i won't find you to talk, yet im the one being accuse not to find him to chat. what i think at that time is what the hack is this?? but as my nature, i won't be explaining as it seems pointless to me.
just now when i told my coursemate about my stuff, she said i really good in hiding my emotional. she can't find out i'm sad or what, only when i told her, she only know that im in a seriously bad mood. to her she says that in class everyday see me laugh,smile and joke. doesn't seems like a guy with problem..but after telling her, she just notice im a typical EMO guy. maybe this happy face is the result of my training to cover up the sadness within me.
after writing out all this, feel much better.but i know what the moment i woke up from my dream, the reality is there..it won't goes off that easily. what i can do now is pray and hope for the best it can be..
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
headache
sometimes i really don't know how or what to do.seriously headache..when the moment my parent know i got earn money.im ok with that as i able do part of my job as a family member..but things start to get a bit over..
today i finally pay off the fees(bills,investment,insurance.etc..which already cost me a damn hell of an amount.have a great afternoon sleep,wake up.what i heard the 1st thing is my mom ask me to get her rm3000 and need urgent.every month i been using up a lot just for the investment part,i already save up a lot.most of it to feed my car fuel,the maintainence,i have to take up the responsible.
just i do hope that they don't keep on ask that from me..really stress,even the bed they said want buy for me end up is me buying it..this month really dry up my wallet.many thing want to buy yet i can't buy.
just i hope that don't so stress me up.......study assignment all been coming up,i just hope won't stress up my study as i hope this sem score 3.5gpa then i able to apply for deduction of tuition fees.
just hope everything turns up fine..
today i finally pay off the fees(bills,investment,insurance.etc..which already cost me a damn hell of an amount.have a great afternoon sleep,wake up.what i heard the 1st thing is my mom ask me to get her rm3000 and need urgent.every month i been using up a lot just for the investment part,i already save up a lot.most of it to feed my car fuel,the maintainence,i have to take up the responsible.
just i do hope that they don't keep on ask that from me..really stress,even the bed they said want buy for me end up is me buying it..this month really dry up my wallet.many thing want to buy yet i can't buy.
just i hope that don't so stress me up.......study assignment all been coming up,i just hope won't stress up my study as i hope this sem score 3.5gpa then i able to apply for deduction of tuition fees.
just hope everything turns up fine..
Saturday, 8 September 2012
geass =wish
after watching the past anime of the year 2008..code geass..many people will think of just a cartoon movie..serve for kids to watch..but i won't be mention about it anyway as no point to argue with those that don't even try and start giving opinion for it...
in this many point have been stated out, like how lelouch willing to go against his own father empire just for his beloved sister to give her a kinder world where she can smile and live happily.even end up his own sister treat him as enemy still he have to hide under his mask of sadness at the end sacrifice himself to give peace and kind world to her sister.
Beside that, it emphasize that love is a strong power,as sherly said before she died,no matter how her memory being alter,how many times she have her memory lost,she always will end up loving lelouch over and over again..no matter how many times she will still love him even it's mean killing herself...seriously thinking about this really make people cry..
it is a good story as it twist and turn many unexpected event as it goes by..to good to rate even out of 10..
in this movie there is a scene that kills, as lelouch fake brother,he end up saving lelouch eventhough he told him that many times he try to kill him and he can't ever replace her beloved sister nunnally.still before he died he still believe in him that even all the lied he said, the memory that they walked in this period of time isn't fake.he willing to sacrifice to him even mean of his life..
People walk out from YESTERDAY, live for TODAY, and wish for a better TOMORROW. this is what lelouch said in the end...geass represent wish...wish of each person to have a better tomorrow,even what comes is worst and depressing. still as long we do wish, a better TOMORROW will appear..this is what GEASS mean...represent WISH and HOPE..
even the main theme of this anime is political ,mecha.still it carry out such beautiful meaning.beautiful that will make me sad and cry over with it..
HAHA will tag along with the very meaningful song from code geass,hope those who view this blog will like it.and understand. CHEERSss...^^
in this many point have been stated out, like how lelouch willing to go against his own father empire just for his beloved sister to give her a kinder world where she can smile and live happily.even end up his own sister treat him as enemy still he have to hide under his mask of sadness at the end sacrifice himself to give peace and kind world to her sister.
Beside that, it emphasize that love is a strong power,as sherly said before she died,no matter how her memory being alter,how many times she have her memory lost,she always will end up loving lelouch over and over again..no matter how many times she will still love him even it's mean killing herself...seriously thinking about this really make people cry..
it is a good story as it twist and turn many unexpected event as it goes by..to good to rate even out of 10..
in this movie there is a scene that kills, as lelouch fake brother,he end up saving lelouch eventhough he told him that many times he try to kill him and he can't ever replace her beloved sister nunnally.still before he died he still believe in him that even all the lied he said, the memory that they walked in this period of time isn't fake.he willing to sacrifice to him even mean of his life..
People walk out from YESTERDAY, live for TODAY, and wish for a better TOMORROW. this is what lelouch said in the end...geass represent wish...wish of each person to have a better tomorrow,even what comes is worst and depressing. still as long we do wish, a better TOMORROW will appear..this is what GEASS mean...represent WISH and HOPE..
even the main theme of this anime is political ,mecha.still it carry out such beautiful meaning.beautiful that will make me sad and cry over with it..
HAHA will tag along with the very meaningful song from code geass,hope those who view this blog will like it.and understand. CHEERSss...^^
Friday, 24 August 2012
music tells
As some music able to bring out things that hidden deep inside a person hearts. some carry lyric that tells about life,love, friends..but what about those that just instrumental? the music bring out more,those music carry all types of feeling that depends on how the person interpret it..
As for me everytime i hear what i feel is sorrow.
i have told my friends that recently break up,take your time to let it go but not too long..as if too long i scare he end up will be like me.somehow at some point where i have lost confident in relationship stuff..whenever i tried to have.something hold me back.memory that hunt me down..memory that make me so scare. scare to face,scare to take a step ahead.
i dont feel life is sucks or what.i do enjoy my life fully but whenever this case comes i just try ignore,or i just feel i want to........i also don't know...^6^...
will share a piece of masterpiece from key animation...^^ hope you all that see this..take time to listen to this..see what is this song bring to you...
nagisa theme
As for me everytime i hear what i feel is sorrow.
i have told my friends that recently break up,take your time to let it go but not too long..as if too long i scare he end up will be like me.somehow at some point where i have lost confident in relationship stuff..whenever i tried to have.something hold me back.memory that hunt me down..memory that make me so scare. scare to face,scare to take a step ahead.
i dont feel life is sucks or what.i do enjoy my life fully but whenever this case comes i just try ignore,or i just feel i want to........i also don't know...^6^...
will share a piece of masterpiece from key animation...^^ hope you all that see this..take time to listen to this..see what is this song bring to you...
nagisa theme
Thursday, 2 August 2012
found myself emo today?
i feel there is a lot of thing in my mind but i can't seems to find out what is it? like all the sudden emo? maybe i just tired..
what i tired from?
i also don't know..
feel like want to take a long rest,
but what make me feel i want to rest?
i can't seems to think of any...
what i tired from?
i also don't know..
feel like want to take a long rest,
but what make me feel i want to rest?
i can't seems to think of any...
Thursday, 5 July 2012
what's in my mind
As we grow older,we have our own way of thinking. We grow up through experience,learn from what happen around us and apply to our daily life.
to say there is something i really can't get it,why other people family, they can smile and talk with their father so nice,can hug and even they can tell him what is happening and what does trouble in him(son).
I really can't get what do he want he want from us.he sick and i do care, we all do care,ask him to eat med go see doctor and he doesn't even listen to us since we have repeat so many times and he doesn't give a fucking damn about it, and it's normal that we eventually lazy to repeat ourselves, you already so old and what should do and not you should know very well and what you said just now? we all don't care you this and that? WTF? if my mom and sis not there,i seriously want to ask him then when we are young what do you do to us? when we small you shout and scold we ok lah.but now we all 20+ liao.you thought shouting scolding, will do the job? it just make us feel that you very irritating, shouting to the neighbour to hear what you simply split out is very nice is it?
i really no mood and now i don't even look at him if possible, don't really feel like talking to you.The moment you went out to work i really feel peace. No more shouting,scolding but only hear the laughter of my mom, sis and my darling baby boy.
if im not the only boy in this house,seriously i would like to leave this place with my family beside him. seriously i really tired with him.I really tired..
to say there is something i really can't get it,why other people family, they can smile and talk with their father so nice,can hug and even they can tell him what is happening and what does trouble in him(son).
I really can't get what do he want he want from us.he sick and i do care, we all do care,ask him to eat med go see doctor and he doesn't even listen to us since we have repeat so many times and he doesn't give a fucking damn about it, and it's normal that we eventually lazy to repeat ourselves, you already so old and what should do and not you should know very well and what you said just now? we all don't care you this and that? WTF? if my mom and sis not there,i seriously want to ask him then when we are young what do you do to us? when we small you shout and scold we ok lah.but now we all 20+ liao.you thought shouting scolding, will do the job? it just make us feel that you very irritating, shouting to the neighbour to hear what you simply split out is very nice is it?
i really no mood and now i don't even look at him if possible, don't really feel like talking to you.The moment you went out to work i really feel peace. No more shouting,scolding but only hear the laughter of my mom, sis and my darling baby boy.
if im not the only boy in this house,seriously i would like to leave this place with my family beside him. seriously i really tired with him.I really tired..
Saturday, 28 April 2012
the view of life of mine
Life it teaches us a lot of thing, eventhough it is invincible, still we can feel it, learn it and absorb it..
but what we experience do we really apply it in the life we have? even we learnt still our arrogant make us blind, let us repeating the same mistake over and over again..even we know it shouldn't be done this way.
Path of life.....not all looks so nice and beauty as it seems,but we can't denied the good of it as many happy thing do happen in our daily life that makes what the person we are...how genuine personality that possess by every single individual.as what we experience, what we feel, how we absorb and how we see it is different from a person to a person. what you a person are is how the true to be yourself.
when a person to the path of understanding through a sad path, it's true that's how a person become mature in thinking and sensing the things of your surrounding will be more sharpen, but for a person that goes through this path, what remain of you, maybe through time things that should be let go,you will be still the memories, the scar, the painful memories is always there, it's not easy to go away, eventhough the person would want it to be.
the painful path that the person gone through is not an easy path, it need time, tolerance, advice, support and love.in order for a person to recover.like what clannad said "in a life we live in the world that no one is able to live without the support of the other individual, even we said we are independent still we are vulnerable, needing other when we are needing a helping hand"
to all this happening, some people do take time to open their hearts,not days but month ,maybe years. it's not easy to have a person recover from such pain, some maybe end up with a broken hearts or worst a broken mind.where the shock they received is not a normal thing that can be handle by the individual.
Life is such a nice thing, when wonderful things happen around you.just hoping even at the most worst scenario, hope able to cope with the situation where are will not lost yourself, the trueselves, the you that used to smile to face this world..this is the most important things that should kept in mind.
sometimes i feel i have lost track of it,sometimes i feel im fine.even i know the theories behind of this that what should and not should be done,still people are such a lost lamb. im the lost lamb that finding the path to get on track, but i don't want to back on the track on what i use to walk on, i found a new track, even the path have to go through the rocky path, steep mountain, heavy rain, strong current, or deep sea.i am willing to go all the way to it,even this new path i don't know what lies ahead, maybe end up i be trap in the desert which i will forever lost , still if i don't step forward, there will be no leading no opening.
if is mean for me to be single i will live as a happy person,i won't ask for more le..it just like what we can see on the chess board, a the king will forever not able to check a queen.nor a chance to kill a queen. even theoretical is possible to do so still luck is needed.
to the what the life ahead..i will prepare even it do mean for me to face it alone....
but what we experience do we really apply it in the life we have? even we learnt still our arrogant make us blind, let us repeating the same mistake over and over again..even we know it shouldn't be done this way.
Path of life.....not all looks so nice and beauty as it seems,but we can't denied the good of it as many happy thing do happen in our daily life that makes what the person we are...how genuine personality that possess by every single individual.as what we experience, what we feel, how we absorb and how we see it is different from a person to a person. what you a person are is how the true to be yourself.
when a person to the path of understanding through a sad path, it's true that's how a person become mature in thinking and sensing the things of your surrounding will be more sharpen, but for a person that goes through this path, what remain of you, maybe through time things that should be let go,you will be still the memories, the scar, the painful memories is always there, it's not easy to go away, eventhough the person would want it to be.
the painful path that the person gone through is not an easy path, it need time, tolerance, advice, support and love.in order for a person to recover.like what clannad said "in a life we live in the world that no one is able to live without the support of the other individual, even we said we are independent still we are vulnerable, needing other when we are needing a helping hand"
to all this happening, some people do take time to open their hearts,not days but month ,maybe years. it's not easy to have a person recover from such pain, some maybe end up with a broken hearts or worst a broken mind.where the shock they received is not a normal thing that can be handle by the individual.
Life is such a nice thing, when wonderful things happen around you.just hoping even at the most worst scenario, hope able to cope with the situation where are will not lost yourself, the trueselves, the you that used to smile to face this world..this is the most important things that should kept in mind.
sometimes i feel i have lost track of it,sometimes i feel im fine.even i know the theories behind of this that what should and not should be done,still people are such a lost lamb. im the lost lamb that finding the path to get on track, but i don't want to back on the track on what i use to walk on, i found a new track, even the path have to go through the rocky path, steep mountain, heavy rain, strong current, or deep sea.i am willing to go all the way to it,even this new path i don't know what lies ahead, maybe end up i be trap in the desert which i will forever lost , still if i don't step forward, there will be no leading no opening.
if is mean for me to be single i will live as a happy person,i won't ask for more le..it just like what we can see on the chess board, a the king will forever not able to check a queen.nor a chance to kill a queen. even theoretical is possible to do so still luck is needed.
to the what the life ahead..i will prepare even it do mean for me to face it alone....
Saturday, 21 April 2012
confession
i don't really know what it is feel like??erm erm it's quite complicated.
i got a bit fall for a girl which is younger than me.but to me it seems so hard to get close to her..maybe is my own problem though?
maybe this isn't the time for me to think about this thing ba..as what i said relationship stuff...COMPLICATED...
maybe i just not into it??or im too rush??or just she not meant to be mine??
blablabla...haixz sien...don't want think.
i got a bit fall for a girl which is younger than me.but to me it seems so hard to get close to her..maybe is my own problem though?
maybe this isn't the time for me to think about this thing ba..as what i said relationship stuff...COMPLICATED...
maybe i just not into it??or im too rush??or just she not meant to be mine??
blablabla...haixz sien...don't want think.
Monday, 16 April 2012
halo..^^
wao 8 of march is the last time i do visit my blog.....quite some time..
busy with school thing,busy studying, assignment finish but still a bunch of homework not yet done.everyday tired even now...@@...
don't know since when start deep down of me, i start to feel so empty. I know why but still there are still something holding me back,and hahaxz not to say holding back or not, there aren't girls that adore me though. So it is a bit what so called LPPL..
There are so many things i want to try,i think during this year summer break, i will go take up violin lesson..Im a newbie though..don't really know whether this instrument suits me or not.but feel like give it a try hahahaxz.
haixz exam is coming,really can't let other thing border me too much,im very tired everyday.haixz..even now i feel very sleepy..
just sometimes i do feel,like what kazel said,feel like having a hugging,but how can a guy make a girl fall for them??look?personality?or?i can't get it.maybe i'm too far back behind from all those thing d..lonely at the night, even i have used to it though.hahaxz.
just hope now i can strive to get good result atleast i won't disappoint myself.hehexz...^^
one word of encouragement for myself: ALL THE BEST^^
busy with school thing,busy studying, assignment finish but still a bunch of homework not yet done.everyday tired even now...@@...
don't know since when start deep down of me, i start to feel so empty. I know why but still there are still something holding me back,and hahaxz not to say holding back or not, there aren't girls that adore me though. So it is a bit what so called LPPL..
There are so many things i want to try,i think during this year summer break, i will go take up violin lesson..Im a newbie though..don't really know whether this instrument suits me or not.but feel like give it a try hahahaxz.
haixz exam is coming,really can't let other thing border me too much,im very tired everyday.haixz..even now i feel very sleepy..
just sometimes i do feel,like what kazel said,feel like having a hugging,but how can a guy make a girl fall for them??look?personality?or?i can't get it.maybe i'm too far back behind from all those thing d..lonely at the night, even i have used to it though.hahaxz.
just hope now i can strive to get good result atleast i won't disappoint myself.hehexz...^^
one word of encouragement for myself: ALL THE BEST^^
Thursday, 8 March 2012
music of heart
Music?
what is it?
what those it meant to everyone?
In dictionary we surely can find the definition for Music,but do it really represent the definition that is in our heart? this i think everyone will have different answer.hahaxz
Some music are build to rock our soul like what the music LMFAO.hahaxz..but not all music are create for this purpose though.
Music able to carry the feeling of a person,what we do really think on that particular moment,sometimes by music it explain all.
even with the simplest tone,like soundtrack it able to calm someone soul.. Those music make it prefect even without a singer still it able to carry out the meaning of the song..
Sometimes song not is an instrument to calm someone soul, try to open your heart listen to the what the message inside, understand what the compose try to deliver, you able to learn something that you unable to realize in your life or even more.
Sometimes when life is uneasy , rushing a lot of thing ahead of us , to chase what have been left behind, when we are tired. Slow down,put your ear for the beauty of music many thing will just end up fine or more better than what we expected.
appreciate what we have now,cherish to those that care for us,live out with all the best of luck.
what is it?
what those it meant to everyone?
In dictionary we surely can find the definition for Music,but do it really represent the definition that is in our heart? this i think everyone will have different answer.hahaxz
Some music are build to rock our soul like what the music LMFAO.hahaxz..but not all music are create for this purpose though.
Music able to carry the feeling of a person,what we do really think on that particular moment,sometimes by music it explain all.
even with the simplest tone,like soundtrack it able to calm someone soul.. Those music make it prefect even without a singer still it able to carry out the meaning of the song..
Sometimes song not is an instrument to calm someone soul, try to open your heart listen to the what the message inside, understand what the compose try to deliver, you able to learn something that you unable to realize in your life or even more.
Sometimes when life is uneasy , rushing a lot of thing ahead of us , to chase what have been left behind, when we are tired. Slow down,put your ear for the beauty of music many thing will just end up fine or more better than what we expected.
appreciate what we have now,cherish to those that care for us,live out with all the best of luck.
Friday, 10 February 2012
^V^ or T.T
Maybe for the past event until now i don't really dare to step into another relationship, everytime i just back off.
hahaxz i can very close with the girl when chances came upon me, i'm the one ran off and that's always the end of the story..
What actually is in my mind?is it suppose to be ^V^ or T.T? i really wonder.
then end of that one,i still go for other girl then the result same i back off again..my mind is stir up with a lot of complicated stuff which i also don't know what i really want.
Confusing?yes i am.
hahaxz i can very close with the girl when chances came upon me, i'm the one ran off and that's always the end of the story..
What actually is in my mind?is it suppose to be ^V^ or T.T? i really wonder.
then end of that one,i still go for other girl then the result same i back off again..my mind is stir up with a lot of complicated stuff which i also don't know what i really want.
Confusing?yes i am.
Sunday, 5 February 2012
i think too much??
to be frank this is my 3rd school i have change since the day i enter UNIMAP.
I don't really know what is really inside my mind,from unimap to utar than now finally back to KDU.aikxz.. T.T
school gonna start anyway no matter how thing going to be i have continue can't hold back anymore. I think this is the final stop for me,whereas i hav'ta be serious about my study.i promise my mom,and this is what going to be,strive for all i could.hav'ta study hard, work hard, play less.
There are still many thing for me to worry about but not everything i can handle only study hard and graduate thing will be ok.i need to settle down my heart and really focus on what the current situation.strive for what is happening now.i hope i can.I do really hope i can.
I don't really know what is really inside my mind,from unimap to utar than now finally back to KDU.aikxz.. T.T
school gonna start anyway no matter how thing going to be i have continue can't hold back anymore. I think this is the final stop for me,whereas i hav'ta be serious about my study.i promise my mom,and this is what going to be,strive for all i could.hav'ta study hard, work hard, play less.
There are still many thing for me to worry about but not everything i can handle only study hard and graduate thing will be ok.i need to settle down my heart and really focus on what the current situation.strive for what is happening now.i hope i can.I do really hope i can.
Friday, 20 January 2012
i so confuse
on the previous i have fail my financial accounting framework 1 in utar which make me very down,i have studied very hard but eventually when i asked ean lee to teach me through skype,i found that i know nothing....haixz...
i asked the teacher to send me tutor question but she 3 week can't even send me an answer.i can't proceed with my study and i stuck alot of question yet i can't solve it or i can say i cant complete it...haixz...then on the day of exam i get a F under my expectation...
i damn scare accounting it's not like math,i don't know why i found it so hard,i need more people to teach while i know i can't find it in utar.bcx im the only person get accounting..im headache..
but then i start to think bcx my cgpa can't over 2.00 i thought i can't get ptptn,but eventually yes i can now for the 1st time but when i notice my next tutor is a malay again i get scare again..to say continue there i'm ok but i scare..i'm worried....haixz...why all those easy subject is those chinese do the teaching while the hard one is the malay?they can't even explain well especially for the person like me who doesn't even have any basic at all.....
i start to choose to come back kdu study le but i felt so sorry to my dad.i wasted his money.im already 21 still my heart so unsteady can't even make decision...im feel so lost...im scared....i'm already in the progress planning to withdraw from utar le.still something inside me bugging me...my dad ok with my decision of coming back but not through me but my mom who told him...i so afraid to face him....im so sorry to him......
i asked the teacher to send me tutor question but she 3 week can't even send me an answer.i can't proceed with my study and i stuck alot of question yet i can't solve it or i can say i cant complete it...haixz...then on the day of exam i get a F under my expectation...
i damn scare accounting it's not like math,i don't know why i found it so hard,i need more people to teach while i know i can't find it in utar.bcx im the only person get accounting..im headache..
but then i start to think bcx my cgpa can't over 2.00 i thought i can't get ptptn,but eventually yes i can now for the 1st time but when i notice my next tutor is a malay again i get scare again..to say continue there i'm ok but i scare..i'm worried....haixz...why all those easy subject is those chinese do the teaching while the hard one is the malay?they can't even explain well especially for the person like me who doesn't even have any basic at all.....
i start to choose to come back kdu study le but i felt so sorry to my dad.i wasted his money.im already 21 still my heart so unsteady can't even make decision...im feel so lost...im scared....i'm already in the progress planning to withdraw from utar le.still something inside me bugging me...my dad ok with my decision of coming back but not through me but my mom who told him...i so afraid to face him....im so sorry to him......
Monday, 9 January 2012
LIFE
is it too young for me for a person with age of 21 to say about life?well it is not about my life but is the life of another person..life of what i have heard for so long..
in the book story do tell women is the sin of mankind,some book do said this some is the opposite is just which side you choose to stand for...the good or the bad.
when im still young,i do think girl is something pure and should be respect,but from age to age when the more i have see this world what is happening around me,there are good example,sure there are bad.usually bad gives stronger impact then the good...
my own relationship problem,it's already past tense for that,sometimes i will think about it but for now i just want to have a good life.life where i can fully enjoy myself.nothing more nothing less.
like my uncle,already age of 55+ having a great company that have many company over the globe,people do said,around that age,it suppose to be age of retirement,while you can shake leg and enjoy every moment of your life since you have own such big company right?but who ever think that just of one single person,just a single greedy person,which cause u bankrupt and all the sweat&blood that you have work for,for so many years just vanish into the thin air..when i heard of this story what i know is im sad......
currently result i have been study for so hard do own note n strive for the best i still fail....now i facing problem whether i can continue study at utar kampar...i have been very down for this few days.do not really have the mood to talk to much while working.the feel like less...just really down...
as i mention above is it girl a sin? when someone you love and the one that promise to hold you hand to the end of the world until our last breath,those word are word to be keep strong,word that able to bond both together.like on the wedding all the vow that have been made,to me i think the vow is very important,it is a promise for both couple where they will start with their own new life,THE LIFE THE JOURNEY OUR THEIRS.
but when a person change,even marriage is not a chain to hold them.i do heard before divorce is a very great news and quite humiliating..but now?the paper is just nothing but a pile of junk.
my biao ge,currently facing divorce,the girl just change complete,my biao ge is a businessman while quite rich and own a company and a sushi restaurant which located in subang kl area i think..His wife have taken everything from him and left him nothing,their baby girl also force to leave and follow her mom and change name.house car everything just gone...1million of money just gone+car and house.. if you a guy what will you think?
that is your wife that have vowed infront of everyone,to take care of each other,help each other when help are needed but what is this all about?is the wife have stolen everything it is like she having been planning this all along.this few day my aunt stay in my house and she is very sad,losing her grand children and see her own children to face such problem and unable to help anything,i wish i can help out a helping hand for what have happen to my biao ge but im still a boy.i cant help out anything.
is not that i don't want to believe,but to me now,what i believe is family is the only thing that we can trust and won't let us down....i just so disappointed for all the thing have been happening,it is not my problem though but it have greatly influence me....
LIFE wasn't it suppose to be a great and enjoyable thing?if me i don't know i will have the will...haixz
in the book story do tell women is the sin of mankind,some book do said this some is the opposite is just which side you choose to stand for...the good or the bad.
when im still young,i do think girl is something pure and should be respect,but from age to age when the more i have see this world what is happening around me,there are good example,sure there are bad.usually bad gives stronger impact then the good...
my own relationship problem,it's already past tense for that,sometimes i will think about it but for now i just want to have a good life.life where i can fully enjoy myself.nothing more nothing less.
like my uncle,already age of 55+ having a great company that have many company over the globe,people do said,around that age,it suppose to be age of retirement,while you can shake leg and enjoy every moment of your life since you have own such big company right?but who ever think that just of one single person,just a single greedy person,which cause u bankrupt and all the sweat&blood that you have work for,for so many years just vanish into the thin air..when i heard of this story what i know is im sad......
currently result i have been study for so hard do own note n strive for the best i still fail....now i facing problem whether i can continue study at utar kampar...i have been very down for this few days.do not really have the mood to talk to much while working.the feel like less...just really down...
as i mention above is it girl a sin? when someone you love and the one that promise to hold you hand to the end of the world until our last breath,those word are word to be keep strong,word that able to bond both together.like on the wedding all the vow that have been made,to me i think the vow is very important,it is a promise for both couple where they will start with their own new life,THE LIFE THE JOURNEY OUR THEIRS.
but when a person change,even marriage is not a chain to hold them.i do heard before divorce is a very great news and quite humiliating..but now?the paper is just nothing but a pile of junk.
my biao ge,currently facing divorce,the girl just change complete,my biao ge is a businessman while quite rich and own a company and a sushi restaurant which located in subang kl area i think..His wife have taken everything from him and left him nothing,their baby girl also force to leave and follow her mom and change name.house car everything just gone...1million of money just gone+car and house.. if you a guy what will you think?
that is your wife that have vowed infront of everyone,to take care of each other,help each other when help are needed but what is this all about?is the wife have stolen everything it is like she having been planning this all along.this few day my aunt stay in my house and she is very sad,losing her grand children and see her own children to face such problem and unable to help anything,i wish i can help out a helping hand for what have happen to my biao ge but im still a boy.i cant help out anything.
is not that i don't want to believe,but to me now,what i believe is family is the only thing that we can trust and won't let us down....i just so disappointed for all the thing have been happening,it is not my problem though but it have greatly influence me....
LIFE wasn't it suppose to be a great and enjoyable thing?if me i don't know i will have the will...haixz
Thursday, 5 January 2012
im so EMO
It's has been quite sometimes since the last time i EMO le.haixz......where after when i finally able to move on with m life.i don't really emo until today until this moment...
haixz i have been working so hard on my study in this is what i get....i really sad,is not like i want to fail.i do my best i could.but now?i just really haixz..i don't know what to do le....haixz..
haixz i have been working so hard on my study in this is what i get....i really sad,is not like i want to fail.i do my best i could.but now?i just really haixz..i don't know what to do le....haixz..
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